honestly, i get mad at myself. i torture myself for a while until i get a better grip on things. then i grieve for a while too—cry, pray, journal, have silent fits, call upon friends for comfort.
then i press on, sometimes slip into “get-shit-done” mode. i try to figure out what went wrong. i arm myself with lists and plans and press forward. i also get a lot of help, too; sometimes because i ask for it, but other times it is given to me by Someone who i believe watches over me.
over time, i’ve gotten better at cutting the first painful phase of anger and grief shorter with practice. it helps to re-interpret failures as learning experiences rather than looking at it as something i didn’t do right.
i’m still learning how to be gracious and forgiving to myself though.
what's the meaning behind your tree, or is there even a meaning other than pure aestheticism?
of course, there is meaning behind the tree picture. it means many things.
i like trees. i prefer mountains to beaches, and trees to oceans.
i like the things that trees have been used to symbolize over the years: life, roots, steadiness, stability, strength, nature, all the things that are good on this earth. something about it also symbolizes a spiritual, religious concept for me.
specifically, the tree in this particular drawing is meant to be a korean pine; so it symbolizes my nationality and my love for my culture of origin. korean pines are also known for its ability to tolerate harsh climate and weather; it’s a tree signifying survival and beauty.
i wrote a story few years back that does a better job of explaining it. i would post that story to share what korean pine trees specifically mean to me, but i have this thing with putting up my stuff on line and fear of my work being stolen and used for whatever unknown purposes without permission… so. hopefully, i’ll find a way to share it in a way that feels safe for me one of these days.
Hi 언니 :) Honestly, I'm still kinda confused about the video "Why I hate religion but love Jesus". I'm thinking like, "So does he hate fruits but love apples?". I just want to know your take on the video. Do you agree with Kevin DeYoung? Or do you have something else in mind?
i think i agree with kevin deyoung and his critiques about jeff bethke’s video. Jesus does not hate Christianity. i think kevin deyoung is saying be careful when we critique religion because religion is not a good thing or a bad thing. it’s like a knife. it’s what people do with it that needs to be critiqued.
like, if someone murdered with a knife, do we blame knives and ban all knives from being used? what do we cut to cook with? to eat with? to cut ropes that tie us down with?
no. we critique and penalize the person who used the knife in that manner. and i think kevin deyoung is saying the same thing.
don’t reject Christianity and religion just because people have used it for wrong. we need to critique and reject the people who use religion for self-righteousness and selfish motives (which, we remember, is the exact opposite of what God exhorted us to do).